Analyzation of a King
by Burning Touch
Summary: Rogue’s morose reflections on the card carrier known as Remy LeBeau. She refuses to admit they have something in common after all. A small drabbled oneshot of typical Romy angst.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own the X-men. I am not an associate of Marvel. I'm just stuck to my computer like a fly to a garbage can.

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He often calls himself the King of Heart, but she wonders if anyone else had noticed the double entendre placed upon that reference. 

It had plagued her mind for some time. Whether he meant it to symbolize his conquest over the female population, in a chauvinist way, or something else entirely. To complete the Queen he had gifted her, and most likely to several other women? Possibly. Was it to show how easily he found manipulation to be for him?

Or was it about the card itself? Something that set it apart from the accompanying fifty-one, the simply drawn depiction of a beloved man, with his hand over his heart, bedecked in elegance. Nonetheless his face is forlorn and a dagger aimed towards his temple. Could that be the way Gambit sees himself? As a King to others, yet dead inside? Not worthy to be loved, not knowing _if_ he is worthy or not. Doubt long set from the beginning with parental abandonment and then furthered by Belladonnas blatant rejection of his affections after a period of time.

Perhaps it was a combination of both. He was adorned as a handsome man, with a king's grace among hearts. However inside he was a void from the various refutations he has had to suffer. His hand, laid over his heart, holds it; guarding it from further scars. But without that joy of love again, he is never fully happy in life, only satisfied. That is the reason for the knife, a way out.

If that were the case, she could almost sympathize with him. She could see a wound in him that never healed proper, like the one she herself carries. It could cause a bond to grow between the two of them, and similarities she had previously ignored would be taken to the light. She would acknowledge him and be sociable because he knew of suffering as she knew it.

But she does not believe Remy LeBeau has that kind of depth to his person. He does not have the same masks that she so carefully contains each day. In fact he tries to break her masks on every occasion that presents itself. He could not be like her. They are complete opposites. She knows this. It is blatantly obvious in the way they pursue the world. She hides herself to keep those she cares for safe and to guard herself. He on the other hand throws himself at the world, molding it to his whim. He cares for no one and she cares for everyone.

He is the King of Hearts and she is more of a Black Maria, a Queen of Spades. The game stops on her, regardless, whether it is for her persona or for her mutant power. The game ends regardless. She is ruthless in that way.

He does not have the scars. He _creates_ scars for others on numerous occasions. Someone who endures the wounds would not inflict them upon another, no matter the horror they had faced. It was not possible. So he could not have had the scars. And she refuses to obtain another scar because of his frivolous behavior. She refuses to receive another scar from _anyone_ for that matter, least of all him.

But she does not realize that he _does_ contain scars. Ones so deep that his heart is left shattered in pieces, held together out of sheer preservation. Scars that affect his soul and his conscience, methodically eating away at the remaining uncorrupt portions. Sooner or later, there will be nothing left of him to reveal the inner underneath the outer beauty. And she does not know that the cure to that cancer is her acceptance.

It is something she will not give.

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**Author's Notes:** Really, this could be set anytime after about Cajun Spice or there after. Take your pick. This is just a little drabble. I'm not going to continue...it really wouldn't make sense. But I've often marveled at how the King of Hearts is the 'suicide king' and yet sometimes associated with Remy. So, love or hate, I like it all. Or do you think about playing cards too? 


End file.
